Frequent questions for Au pairs
Motives for working with children
For many, a childcare job is simply an easy transition to the world of work . In addition to your own room, you may have your own tv, the use of a car and the chance to accompany the family on holidays. There will be no need to organize or pay for transport to work, finding accommodation and all the other headaches normally associated with starting a job in a new place.
In addition to the worthy goals of learning a language and experiencing a foreign culture, many people simply want to see the world and can't afford a straight holiday. It can also be a very good way for young women to assert their independence from over-protective parents. Some au pairs learn to appreciate their own families more after this.
Deciding to go
Some questions should be answered at a very early stage when trying to decide whether or not to pursue the idea of working for a family abroad. You will probably be asked many of these questions on an agency questionnaire, so it is worth thinking them through ahead of time.
How much do you like kids?
If you have had very little exposure to young children, try to arrange some since you may discover that you lack the appropriate quantities of patience to take charge of them for an extended period. If you do have experience of children, you might give some thought to what age group you most enjoy, though every stage brings its own pleasures and problems. For example, babies can be carted around on private errands and you may find that they adapt t you more quickly than older children. But you might also find their dependence restricting and miss not being to hold a conversation. A job as an au pair with school age children (except in the summer holidays) allows much of the day free. The more flexible you can be the better; you don't want to limit your choices too much, for this will make it harder to find a suitable job.
How much are you prepared to put up with? Could you cope with a major loss of privacy? Au pairs are occasionally made to share a bedroom with the children, which can be a shock to anyone who is not used to sharing.
Duties
Au pairing can incorporate any number of duties beyond caring for children. Try not to have unrealistic expectations and never be seduced into thinking that you are on holiday. You will no doubt have opportunities that might not have come your way had you stayed at home, but first and foremost you are abroad to work.
Your primary duties will revolve around the children. Try to find out ahead of time what ages they are and in if you are inexperienced, read a childcare manual. Most families will expect you not only to keep their children's room tidy, but also to do some light housework. “light housework” is truly open to interpretation, however, so do be careful that you are not exploited. It is usual to be asked to dust, vacuum, wash dishes, mop and keep the children's room tidy.
It would be surprising not to be responsible for the children's clothes and prepare the children's meals. You might also be required to cook for the adult members of the household, so be honest about how good you are cooking and how much you enjoy it.
The amount of shopping you will be required to do varies considerably from family to family. Some will expect you merely to pick up a few items at the local grocery store while others will make you responsible for the entire food budget. Usually parents will go on a major shopping expedition once a week and leave you to purchase any extras that may be needed.
Candidates with driving licences are at a distinct advantage when applying for jobs since many parents will want you to ferry their children to school, to the doctor/dentist/dance class, etc. Not all parents are willing to lend their au pair a car, but if they do require you to drive, they will usually allow you to use the car to take the children out for day trips, or even allow you to borrow the car for your own private use during your free time. Always be scrupulous about paying for your own petrol, unless you have come to some agreement.
Some families prefer foreign au pairs so that they can assist the children with another languages. Your task will be made a lot easier if the children share their parent's ideas about the benefits of language learning, not to mention have a certain aptitude. It may be a case of giving a scheduled lesson once a day or simply chatting to them in English or reading them stories.
Rewards
If the arrangement works, it can be absolutely great. Even if your host family is not quite as generous and easy-going, you will almost certainly improve your knowledge of a foreign language. This is valuable not only for modern language students. Almost all au pairs claim that the principal benefit of their experience ( whether or not their relationship with their families was successful) is that they gain confidence in themselves, to get better with people. Often a year of au pairing abroad teaches you to make friends easy, which is surely a life-enhancing skill.
Risks
The relationship of au pair to family is not like the usual employer/employee relationship; in fact the terminology sometimes used is “hosts”, “hospitality” and “guests” which is to view the arrangement in somewhat more idealistic terms than the reality will support. To be treated as a member of the family is splendid in theory, however it means that the success of the arrangement depends more than usual on whether or not individuals hit it off, so there is always an element of risk when living in a family of strangers. Some girls are decidedly opposed to the idea of being treated as a member of the family, since it means that they may not have fixed hours and duties. The families that throw up their hands in horror at the mention of a contract or the notion of being business-like about the arrangement are often the ones who expect you to be on call around the clock.
Few au pair experiences are an unmitigated success, and there is almost always an admixture of misery to a greater or lesser degree. Homesickness is the most common problem and is probably unavoidable at the beginning of your stay abroad. You will feel yourself to be a million miles away from friends, family and a comfortable routine. But even after you settle into the life of your host family, loneliness can persist if you don't take positive steps to create a social like.
